Life Changing People

We should probably hold this for November and tie it to Veterans Day – but I did a talk in my recent training and thought I could convert to a blog

The coaches in our lives

Ben Skardon changed my life.

In a recent training experience, we were asked to identify memorable people from the stages of our lives.  Col Beverly (Ben) Skardon was my person from my late teens early 20s.  

I was a shy sophomore at Clemson University enrolled in public speaking only because it was required for my business major.  I was sure that it was the absolute worst course I would take during my college career (I was wrong about that – the worst course was accounting, but I digress). 

Standing in front of a room of people and opening my mouth was terrifying. It wasn’t picking a topic and researching. It was the Public Speaking of it all.

My professor was Col Ben Skardon. He was a long time professor in the English department, and he changed everything.  Literally everything. 

Maya Angelou was right when she said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I can’t remember a single lesson. I can’t remember a bit of feedback, but I remember how his classroom felt.  It felt warm, inclusive and a place where it was safe to push the envelope. It was also a place where it was safe to laugh. I think we laughed a lot.

Col Skardon made his classroom a “safe space” long before it was a thing. He made us feel respected, challenged, and inspired. He gave us courage. He did that for me and everyone he taught. And as a result, I found my strength and my voice.

His class changed my career path. I didn’t change my major, but I picked up every communications elective I could.  When I graduated, I went to the University of Georgia to get my masters in Speech Communications, and with an assistantship I taught public speaking. I loved it.  Then I spent decades in corporate communications where I talked for a living. 

Col Skardon showed us who he was, but he didn’t tell us who he was.  It was years after I graduated that I learned about his past.  Col Skardon was a 1938 graduate of Clemson. He was a World War II veteran. He was a survivor of the Baatan Death March and was held for three years in a Japanese prisoner of war camp. He almost died and two of his friends and Clemson classmates traded his class ring for the food that saved his life.  It’s quite a story. A story that he never told his students. When I learned about this incredible, inspirational part of his life, I was surprised, but not surprised.

https://news.clemson.edu/beverly-ben-skardon-class-of-38-decorated-wwii-veteran-passes-away-at-104/

Decades after I left Clemson, I was talking with the Unviersity President about a volunteer opportunity. During that discussion, he asked me about my Clemson experience. I mentioned Col Skardon and the impact he had on my life. He asked me if I had ever told him. I told him that I hadn’t, and he responded that I should.  He said that it would mean a lot to Col Skardon.  That conversation stuck with me.

And I had the opportunity when Col Skardon and I were both at a large event at Clemson.  I made my way over to him, introduced myself and told him how much his class had influenced me.  He grabbed my hand and touched his heart. He was 96 at the time.

A few years later, I had the opportunity to visit with him at his 100th birthday party. In true Col Skardon form, he gave party attendees a gift – a military style challenge coin. This time, I was able to tell him, in a full circle moment, that I was now teaching public speaking.  He loved that.

If your influences don’t know how much they meant to you, consider telling them.  They may not all live to be 104 as Col Skardon did.

Col Skardon embodied many of the characteristics of a great coach. It was all about us, not about him.  He helped us believe in ourselves and discover what we didn’t know was in us.  He helped us open up to possibilities. 

It reminds me of a quote from a great coach who lived a long life and had a profound impact on those he coached, legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden who once said, “Good coaches can change a game; great coaches can change lives.”